15 Dec 2013 - What no one told me...

It's all about pregnancy and motherhood this time.
There are a few things that really shocked me, surprised me and changed me throughout my pregnancy and early motherhood and many of those things I wish I would have known before they happened! Not that it would have stopped me having children ever, but I think I could have prepared myself a bit better, knowing what was to come.

Your body will NEVER be the same! Sure some women are truly lucky - they 'bounce back' into shape without even trying. Those cases are rare, very rare! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! It takes 9 months to grow a baby, it takes 9 months to get over it, at LEAST.

#1 Pregnancy Breasts! Often one of the first signs of pregnancy for many women: Painful, heavy breasts. I remember having to hold on to my boobs when I was in a bit of a rush, or driving along a bumpy road... OUCH!

Your breasts could gain 3 to 4 sizes during pregnancy alone, then your breastfeeding journey might start and some women gain another 2 cup sizes in the first weeks after giving birth, because of engorgement. Those boobies have got a whole new meaning and job now of feeding a hungry baby. Even if you don't breastfeed your baby, your boobs will end up a lot softer than before and often differently shaped as well. Not always bad (what's bad anyway), sometimes smaller, sometimes bigger, sometimes saggier... And every pregnancy can be different again, leaving them different than before. Have a look at these if you're worried about your breasts - don't we all think our boobs don't look 'normal'?? http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php You will find a huge range of normal breasts here. There's another gallery with 'after pregnancy' and 'altered' breasts as well. So... they're normal, right?

#2 You want your body back! This is a cliche, but oh so true! For at least 4 months you have felt this squirming, kicking, poking, nudging alien sensation in your tummy, quite painful at times too! Then you have to birth the little wonder you've been waiting for for so long, leaving you with many sore spots down below and a flabby wobbly belly... You might start your breastfeeding journey, going through all the pain and hassle to feed your baby (NO, it is NOT easy, but so worth the effort!) At times you just want to be left alone, no touching, PLEASE!! Between your baby and your partner, you might feel overwhelmed having to share your body...

#3 Varicose Veins! These are often a 'side effect' of pregnancy. Hormones soften the tissues in your body, also causing the walls of your blood vessels to get weaker. The extra amount of blood your body produces during pregnancy puts extra pressure on your system, which often shows as blue bulging (often itchy and/or painful!) lines in your legs, but also likely to appear in your vulva and even as hemorrhoids (piles) in and/or around your anus... oh the joys! Good thing is: they might get a lot better and less visible after pregnancy, but are likely to return and get worse again with a next pregnancy.

#4 Hair Loss! Another wonderful result of pregnancy. During your second trimester of pregnancy you might notice how nice and thick and healty your hair looks. Hormones again! The higher levels of Progesterone are thought to cause hair on your head (but also the rest of your body!) to keep on growing during pregnancy, instead of losing your usual 80 to 100 hairs daily. Once your baby is born, the dropped hormone levels cause all the 'missed' hairs to fall out at once... lovely! Reason why a lot of new moms end up drastically changing their hairdo into something easy and less obvious. Though the hairloss can be severe, it will pass, leaving a lovely halo of newly grown hairs all over the place.

#5 Discharge! And LOTS of it... Have you ever wondered why your mother was always wearing panty liners? Well, you're about to find out why. Many women will experience plenty of extra vaginal discharge throughout the second half of their pregnancy, due to the increased blood flow to the uterus and vaginal walls. It shouldn't be too smelly and it should be a white-ish color, or there might be something wrong. Infections are also really common, especially after a prescription of antibiotics.

Once baby is born, there's the maternity pads. Yes, they are that big for a reason! At first you might even have to change it after an hour, because it's full of blood and clots... What my hospital nurse did, was putting one to the left, one to the right and one pad on top of those two in the middle of my panties to be able to go for several hours without having to change. This heavy bleeding could last for several weeks, a colored discharge that follows could last for several months until the wound of the placenta inside your uterus has healed completely.

#6 After Pains! Oh my, even thinking of those makes me cringe now! Going through childbirth wouldn't be a piece of cake and would hurt really bad. Not that preparing for the pain is possible in any case, but at least it is to be expected. Then the baby is out and there's this SEVERE cramping in your already sore tummy! It's like an intense contraction all over again! And in fact they are still contractions, only this time to empty the uterus from remaining tissue, blood clots and to try to make it shrink back from generous watermelon size to it's original size of an orange. These afterpains can last for over a week and will hurt less and less, but will hurt nonetheless. Breastfeeding releases hormones that aid the contracting of the uterus as well, so it will return to it's original size sooner.

#7 Toilet Habits! So you're pretty regular? Pregnancy messes with your insides, it's these blimmin hormones again! Making your intestines all sluggish and ineffective, causing problems like constipation in many pregnant women. Lots of water and fiber can help keep you going. Then there's the farting.... Something you can't help really, but oh so embarassing!

Like you've got nothing else to do, your growing uterus puts enough pressure on your bladder, making you need to go every half hour or so. Even at night. Once baby gets big enough to use your bladder as a trampoline, there might even be the odd accident... remember the panty liners? Ahhh.....

#8 Hot and Sweaty! No matter what time of year you are due, you will be HOT! Yes, you'll be looking fantastic too :) This internal heater makes sure your hands and feet are less cold and all the extra blood being pumped around your system means that room temperature will now feel way too hot for you! Sweating, especially at night(!) is something new in the later stages of pregnancy, but won't end there. After you gave birth you might wake up drenched for several more months, especially when your baby wakes up hungry in the middle of the night.

Talking about middle of the night, during pregnancy there's:

#9 Dreams! Oh those vivid dreams of giving birth to the most unthinkable creatures, babies of the other gender, multiples, aliens, animals, babies with multiple limbs or limbs missing... YUP all NORMAL!!! Luckily they're only dreams, however real they might seem to be, heart-racingly real at times!

#10 Cloud Myth! Sure to some lucky moms the whole pregnancy and birth thing is over like in a dream (not one of the above!) But most moms will find many things to complain or feel anxious about. Being pregnant and giving birth is like a roller coaster ride! And these preggo hormones don't help! It all seems so overwhelming at times and too hard to get your head around... Well, all of that's normal, totally normal! And yes, the horrormones are to blame... again! I've never been on the pink cloud, blue cloud, cloud 9, that thing doesn't actually exist and was just made up to make new mommas feel extra bad about their new-momma lives! Don't believe it, it's a trick! Talk about what you feel, how you feel and how you thought it would be, how different things are now. And most importantly: ASK FOR HELP. Seriously! If there is once in your life you want to ask for help, it's now!

#11 Perfect Birth! Yup, sort of a myth too. In some cases you might get it exactly as you wanted, or pictured it, but in most cases you won't care about the extra attendants in the birthing room, the couple of stitches you get once holding your prescious newborn, the fact that you pooped while pushing. As long as all ends up fine, the small stuff will have been erased from memory, whether you're high on pain meds, or high on your own hormones. And YES, pain memories do fade, luckily!

#12 Bump in the Way! By the end of your pregnancy your bump will be in the way in all sorts of ways. You can't bend over to tie your laces. You can't see where to put the razor for a tidy up down there. Your bump will get stuck between doors, cupboards, sliding doors, passing between cars. You end up changing your top all the time, for the bump keeps leaning in puddles on the bench, and in full plates on the table. You'll invest in a tray to put your laptop on, once you get sick of pressing the wrong keys and having a bump trying to kick the laptop off your lap. Your spat out toothpaste will land on your bump. It takes a six point turn to actually roll over in bed. Your long, stretchy tops are starting to show part of your bump. Strangers will want to touch YOUR bump (Hate that!!)

So far my 5ct worth. I've probably forgotten a whole lot, might add some later :)

Some extra info:
All guilty pregnancy hormones lined up

Stages of Labor