It's all about the timing, how to conceive a girl!

And... we've done it!
Currently 19 weeks pregnant and we found out on Friday that it's going to be a GIRL!! She's doing great and everything looks fine and right on schedule.

For those who've been keeping track of my past blogs, you might remember we were trying to keep the gap between the moment we had 'fun between the sheets' and expected ovulation >3 days, so the slower - but longer lasting girl swimmers (X) would have a better chance to reach the egg than the faster, but not so long-lasting boy sperm (Y).

My cycle was far from ideal, with a Luteal Phase of much less than 10 days (supposedly 10 days is minimum for that's how long it takes for a fertilised egg to implant in the lining of the uterus properly) and a total cycle length of anywhere between 24 and 27 days, of which at least 6 days of bleeding (3 heavily).

I started using ovulation tests, but I still blame the breastfeeding (4x a day at that stage) for messing up my hormones and not showing the LH surge even once in the 4 months I tried using them. It made me wonder how high the Luteal Hormone level would have to be before it shows up on the tests, for even when I used 2 a day, I never got a true positive. A faint or slightly darker line was all I've ever got on those tests. Even the cycle I ended up pregnant, never showed a positive test!

Luckily I am 'fortunate' enough to be able to feel when I ovulate, especially if it was my left ovary releasing the egg. For I suffer from pretty bad after pains and tend to get pretty big cysts after ovulation, which can be really painful too. Actually if often feels like my whole lower abdomen hurts, I've even thought I might be suffering from appendicitis in the past, but a scan told me it was just a cyst on my ovary, right after releasing an egg. So even with the negative LH test strips, I could still tell when I had ovulated, more or less.

Our Lucky Cycle was also a crazy one. LH tests didn't get darker than faint, I didn't have very much egg white-like discharge (the fertile stuff!), we had sex 6 days (!) before I felt the ovulation cramping and my cervix wasn't very high up or soft&open around that time either.
8 days after the cramping my period broke through, very heavy bleeding (and I mean every 1.5 hrs bleeding through a heavy duty tampon-heavy!) for the first 3 days and then a lighter bleeding for another full 3 days. For the sake of knowing for sure I did try a pregnancy test the day my period was finished (day 27 of that cycle) and again another HCG test 4 days after that and both were very clearly white and negative.

For the sake of making absolutely sure I tried another test on day 15 (days post ovulation or DPO) which seemed like day 8 of my new cycle and YES we'd done it again! With my previous pregnancy the exact same thing had happened of me having a full blown period around the same time implantation should have occured, only then I found out when we had the first scan at 12 weeks that put me ahead by just over 2 weeks, random, crazy, but totally true!
And now it's happened again, only I tested in time to find out this time round and the first scan done at 11 weeks told me I had my dates spot on!

What are the odds???
Sooo we're talking extremely old sperm (6 days!)
Sooo we're talking negative ovulation tests
Sooo we're talking very short Luteal Phase (8 days!)
Sooo we're talking heavy period in the middle of implantation time
Sooo we're talking slow rise in HCG (positive first at 15 days after ovulation with a very faint line)
Sooo... what are the odds???
This must be a very very very strong and stubborn little girl to be hanging on like this!
And we're soooo over the moon to find out it is indeed a girl, after having 2 boys I kind of thought hubby wouldn't have any girl swimmers haha!

Very happy on my very pink cloud 9, may it be mid April real soon, can't wait to meet this little princess!!

18 April 2014 Talk time

What's that with the time?
When needing to go to the toilet, only to find it occupied, two minutes seems like an eternity.
When waiting for the microwave to finish, 20 seconds seems to last forever.
When looking back at my youngest boy being 11 months old tomorrow, I wonder where I've lost all this time!
Time drags on, time flies, all at the same time!
Time is only relative. It totally depends on our mental state, on our feelings, on what keeps us occupied...

We're in the middle of creating a new family member. Whereas the weeks are flying by in the blink of an eye, once I started looking into my cycle again, noting down changes in cervix and discharge, time just started to pass ever so slowly... The wait between ovulation and the moment your menstruation is about to start: TEST TIME seems to never come!
And then it does and what's that in the test window? 1 line and 1 line only... but still no 'aunt visiting', no red flag, no sign whatsoever.

This uncertainty is mind-boggling!
Even though we've got 2 healthy boys to keep us entertained, the suspense in trying for an #3 (Team pink this time please!) is ever so noticeable...
Why can't things just be clear, black and white, yes or no, pregnant or menstruation!
Then there's some cervical mucus that would just about make me think my egg's about to pop - which it most likely did 2 weeks ago, so what's going on then?

As you see, just questions and no answers, nothing, zero, nada...

I'm at a loss, c'mon time, just hurry up and give us a sign! Better: give us an answer!
Pretty please?

10 April 2014 - Any mental health issues?

During the very first meeting with my midwife, I was asked this question.
"NO, nothing..."

Well, my kids made me realise recently, the answer to this question should have been "yes".
For I suffer from Trichotillomania...
Well, to call it SUFFER is quite an overstatement if there is such a thing.
Fact remains, it's a silly bad habit I've been having for the last 20 odd years!

What is it?
Mainly it's pulling hairs. This could be any sort of hair, on any part of the body. Often it goes together with skin picking, another tick for me!

For a long time I've thought it just 'runs in the family', my mom being a habitual skin picker, whenever sunken in thought, there's a hand up near her face/hair/neck, scratching, picking etc...

Recently I read a post from a friend asking about this habit of her little girl plucking her eyebrow hair when dozing off to sleep. Also one of my own boys when upset, his hands are always like claws on his face or in his hair. He might be copying his mom, I thought!

For as long as I can remember, I've been stuffing piles of hair out of sight. Hairs under my desk, under the table, next to the couch. Thinking back I must have been only just in highschool when it started.
Right hand holding a pen, a book, a phone, left hand up and in my hair. My long hair used to curl slightly and winding hair around your finger is quite soothing when the book you're reading is really scary, or the essay you're writing asks for a lot of thinking: what next?

Not sure what exactly made me start pulling my hair, but it's always been on the same 2 spots, halfway up my head on the left side. Nicely covered by wearing my hair in a pony tail at all times. But even when I have it down occasionally, I can make sure it's covered well. Yes, there is a bald spot.
In the last 5 years the pulling changed a little, it's more like a hunt for greys now. For some reason there's a very satisfied feeling to plucking out 2 hairs at once, 1 white and 1 black. My hair isn't black, but the short hair that grows in the bald spot looks really dark or completely white.

2 years ago I started to learn how to crochet. That's right, keeping 2 hands occupied! Before I knew it, it had taken up enough time for the lower spot to re-grow to more than an inch of hair and when I gave up on crocheting during summer, I managed to leave the lower spot alone completely.

I haven't been to the hairdressers since I was a little girl. My mom used to be my hair dresser, needless to say when I started pulling my hair, my mom wasn't allowed to cut my hair anymore. Was I ashamed of my hair pulling? Yes, and I still am. Have I talked to anyone about this? No, definitely not. I reckon if I tried hard enough, I'd be able to stop the hair pulling all by myself. But like I wrote earlier, it's only recently occured to me it could be a mental health issue. Call it a nervous tick. Call it what you like. It's my secret. No-one knows about it. Except you. Until today.

And to think I'm not alone, according to the link below, there are millions like me, like us!

Trichotillomania link

2 Feb 2014 My turn: bucket list

Life is slowly going back to normal here in New Zealand, schools are opening again and after what was called 'summer school holidays' but what looked like winter part II, the sun is finally out and the temperatures are up. Poor kids.
Not mine, they're way too young to sit in a hot and sweaty class room, listening to an adult who's trying to teach them something, that's something that won't start for another 2.5 years.
I've been fighting with my hair lately, it's probably still the leftover pregnancy hormones finally leaving my body, but my hair has been terrible recently. It's naturally got a light curl in it, but after giving birth to 2 kids, it's now going grey for real. Also I've suffered some pretty severe hair loss after both boys were born - due to the hormones, and I've now got a lovely 'halo' of short and spiky hair surrounding my face.
When we were in Holland, visiting my parents last year, I cut off a substantial length of my hair, hoping it would improve the look and feel of it, but it didn't. And then I came across a link on facebook with fantastic make overs for people who could use a laugh http://www.utrend.tv/v/one-second/ and I felt sorry for dumping my hair in the bin. I should have sent it in to have human-hair wigs made out of it!
So I have decided that's what I'll do if I ever get sick of my long hair, I'll donate it for a good cause! Pantene is one of the brands offering just that: http://www.beautifullengths.com.au/ with instructions of how and when to cut it and where to send it.
I might as well start a bucket list of things to do and places to visit in my life time, some might call it a bucket list:


1 - donate my hair
2 - catch up with my bestie in Kenya
3 - walk the milford track
4 - buy my own piece of land and build a house
5 - renovate a campervan
6 - seriously consider surrogacy once my family is complete
7 - be a volunteer for a good cause
8 - skydive
9 - take a hobby class
10 - ???
Ah well, that's it for now, I'll be thinking of more things to put on my list, any suggestions?

21 Dec 2013 The art of nose picking

Well, who would have thought?!

Getting your toddler to stop picking his nose seems near impossible.
Especially because he often seems so proud of his 'findings' ;-)

I remember doing the same when I was little and the reactions of my parents, freaking out.

Just thought I'd Google it, wondering if there was any real harm in it, before copying my own mom, yelling at my boy to PLEASE STOP!

And surprise, surprise, this is what I found:  "using fingers to pick and ingesting nasal mucus gives a natural boost to the immune system" according to this article on Wikipedia. Boogers are healthy... huh???

WTF? Are you with me?
So according to scientists to eat your snot bogeys is like preparing your immune system and to build up your natural defenses. Who would have thought...

It seems that the foreign pathogens that get stuck in the mucus in your nose, get crippled by the cocktail of antiseptic enzymes it contains. And eating those weakened bacteria and microorganisms can actually make your immunity stronger. It's acting like an 'all natural' vaccine, motivating your system to produce antibodies to everyday environmental contaminants.

We all know that being too clean has got an opposite effect on (young) people's health, leaving the body with not enough practice of fighting off those everyday contaminants, creating super resistant bugs and auto immune reactions like allergies, asthma, eczema and even heart issues later in life. This is also known as the hygiene hypothesis.

More information on nose picking and health related issues: Eating boogers may be good for you

17 Dec 2013 Yummy non-bake cheese cake!

Here's another incredibly yummy recipe, based on my mom's ancient family recipe, but with local (NZ) ingredients.

The original calls for quark (kwark in Dutch) which isn't readily available here in New Zealand.

What I use instead is Greek Yoghurt, quite different from quark, but the resulting cheese cake is just as delicious! (Extra info on Quark vs Greek Yoghurt)

Our favourite flavour is (canned) peaches, but except for fresh kiwi fruit or pineapple, just about any fruit will do.

Ingredients:

• 8oz (250gr) of crumbed biscuits
• 3oz (80gr) of melted butter
• 1 tablespoon of cinnamon
• 1 can of peaches
• 2 cups (500ml) of Greek Yoghurt
• 1 cup (250ml) of whipping cream - cold
• gelatin (+/- 0.4oz or 12gr)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla essence
• 2 oz (60gr) of white caster sugar

I usually wing the amount of sugar, gelatin, cinnamon and vanilla as it largely depends on taste, how sweet you like your deserts to be. I'm okay with a fruity but not overly sweet sort of cake. If you've got a serious sweet tooth, you can add more sugar and vanilla - more vanilla means more gelatin too. (Check your vanilla for alcohol!)

Melt butter in a large glass bowl over a pot of hot water, or in the microwave. Meanwhile crumb your biscuits. (I use a large zip lock bag and a rolling pin) Add 1 tablespoon of caster sugar, 1 tablespoon of cinnamon, a bit of vanilla essence and the crumbed biscuits to the melted butter and stir well.
Press the mixture into a paper-lined spring form with the round side of a spoon and put in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Drain the peaches over a glass bowl and heat the juice over a pot of hot water. Add a teaspoon of sugar and have the gelatin ready.

Slice the peaches into small chunks and set aside.

Whip cream with remaining sugar and vanilla essence added till stiff peaks form. Fold in Greek Yoghurt and peaches.

Dissolve gelatin in hot juice and add this to the cream and yoghurt mix.

Get your cookie base from the fridge and add the peachy cheese cake batter.
Leave in the fridge for an hour or 3, till set.

ENJOY!!!!

For a change I put them in individual silicon molds... YUM!

15 Dec 2013 - What no one told me...

It's all about pregnancy and motherhood this time.
There are a few things that really shocked me, surprised me and changed me throughout my pregnancy and early motherhood and many of those things I wish I would have known before they happened! Not that it would have stopped me having children ever, but I think I could have prepared myself a bit better, knowing what was to come.

Your body will NEVER be the same! Sure some women are truly lucky - they 'bounce back' into shape without even trying. Those cases are rare, very rare! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! It takes 9 months to grow a baby, it takes 9 months to get over it, at LEAST.

#1 Pregnancy Breasts! Often one of the first signs of pregnancy for many women: Painful, heavy breasts. I remember having to hold on to my boobs when I was in a bit of a rush, or driving along a bumpy road... OUCH!

Your breasts could gain 3 to 4 sizes during pregnancy alone, then your breastfeeding journey might start and some women gain another 2 cup sizes in the first weeks after giving birth, because of engorgement. Those boobies have got a whole new meaning and job now of feeding a hungry baby. Even if you don't breastfeed your baby, your boobs will end up a lot softer than before and often differently shaped as well. Not always bad (what's bad anyway), sometimes smaller, sometimes bigger, sometimes saggier... And every pregnancy can be different again, leaving them different than before. Have a look at these if you're worried about your breasts - don't we all think our boobs don't look 'normal'?? http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php You will find a huge range of normal breasts here. There's another gallery with 'after pregnancy' and 'altered' breasts as well. So... they're normal, right?

#2 You want your body back! This is a cliche, but oh so true! For at least 4 months you have felt this squirming, kicking, poking, nudging alien sensation in your tummy, quite painful at times too! Then you have to birth the little wonder you've been waiting for for so long, leaving you with many sore spots down below and a flabby wobbly belly... You might start your breastfeeding journey, going through all the pain and hassle to feed your baby (NO, it is NOT easy, but so worth the effort!) At times you just want to be left alone, no touching, PLEASE!! Between your baby and your partner, you might feel overwhelmed having to share your body...

#3 Varicose Veins! These are often a 'side effect' of pregnancy. Hormones soften the tissues in your body, also causing the walls of your blood vessels to get weaker. The extra amount of blood your body produces during pregnancy puts extra pressure on your system, which often shows as blue bulging (often itchy and/or painful!) lines in your legs, but also likely to appear in your vulva and even as hemorrhoids (piles) in and/or around your anus... oh the joys! Good thing is: they might get a lot better and less visible after pregnancy, but are likely to return and get worse again with a next pregnancy.

#4 Hair Loss! Another wonderful result of pregnancy. During your second trimester of pregnancy you might notice how nice and thick and healty your hair looks. Hormones again! The higher levels of Progesterone are thought to cause hair on your head (but also the rest of your body!) to keep on growing during pregnancy, instead of losing your usual 80 to 100 hairs daily. Once your baby is born, the dropped hormone levels cause all the 'missed' hairs to fall out at once... lovely! Reason why a lot of new moms end up drastically changing their hairdo into something easy and less obvious. Though the hairloss can be severe, it will pass, leaving a lovely halo of newly grown hairs all over the place.

#5 Discharge! And LOTS of it... Have you ever wondered why your mother was always wearing panty liners? Well, you're about to find out why. Many women will experience plenty of extra vaginal discharge throughout the second half of their pregnancy, due to the increased blood flow to the uterus and vaginal walls. It shouldn't be too smelly and it should be a white-ish color, or there might be something wrong. Infections are also really common, especially after a prescription of antibiotics.

Once baby is born, there's the maternity pads. Yes, they are that big for a reason! At first you might even have to change it after an hour, because it's full of blood and clots... What my hospital nurse did, was putting one to the left, one to the right and one pad on top of those two in the middle of my panties to be able to go for several hours without having to change. This heavy bleeding could last for several weeks, a colored discharge that follows could last for several months until the wound of the placenta inside your uterus has healed completely.

#6 After Pains! Oh my, even thinking of those makes me cringe now! Going through childbirth wouldn't be a piece of cake and would hurt really bad. Not that preparing for the pain is possible in any case, but at least it is to be expected. Then the baby is out and there's this SEVERE cramping in your already sore tummy! It's like an intense contraction all over again! And in fact they are still contractions, only this time to empty the uterus from remaining tissue, blood clots and to try to make it shrink back from generous watermelon size to it's original size of an orange. These afterpains can last for over a week and will hurt less and less, but will hurt nonetheless. Breastfeeding releases hormones that aid the contracting of the uterus as well, so it will return to it's original size sooner.

#7 Toilet Habits! So you're pretty regular? Pregnancy messes with your insides, it's these blimmin hormones again! Making your intestines all sluggish and ineffective, causing problems like constipation in many pregnant women. Lots of water and fiber can help keep you going. Then there's the farting.... Something you can't help really, but oh so embarassing!

Like you've got nothing else to do, your growing uterus puts enough pressure on your bladder, making you need to go every half hour or so. Even at night. Once baby gets big enough to use your bladder as a trampoline, there might even be the odd accident... remember the panty liners? Ahhh.....

#8 Hot and Sweaty! No matter what time of year you are due, you will be HOT! Yes, you'll be looking fantastic too :) This internal heater makes sure your hands and feet are less cold and all the extra blood being pumped around your system means that room temperature will now feel way too hot for you! Sweating, especially at night(!) is something new in the later stages of pregnancy, but won't end there. After you gave birth you might wake up drenched for several more months, especially when your baby wakes up hungry in the middle of the night.

Talking about middle of the night, during pregnancy there's:

#9 Dreams! Oh those vivid dreams of giving birth to the most unthinkable creatures, babies of the other gender, multiples, aliens, animals, babies with multiple limbs or limbs missing... YUP all NORMAL!!! Luckily they're only dreams, however real they might seem to be, heart-racingly real at times!

#10 Cloud Myth! Sure to some lucky moms the whole pregnancy and birth thing is over like in a dream (not one of the above!) But most moms will find many things to complain or feel anxious about. Being pregnant and giving birth is like a roller coaster ride! And these preggo hormones don't help! It all seems so overwhelming at times and too hard to get your head around... Well, all of that's normal, totally normal! And yes, the horrormones are to blame... again! I've never been on the pink cloud, blue cloud, cloud 9, that thing doesn't actually exist and was just made up to make new mommas feel extra bad about their new-momma lives! Don't believe it, it's a trick! Talk about what you feel, how you feel and how you thought it would be, how different things are now. And most importantly: ASK FOR HELP. Seriously! If there is once in your life you want to ask for help, it's now!

#11 Perfect Birth! Yup, sort of a myth too. In some cases you might get it exactly as you wanted, or pictured it, but in most cases you won't care about the extra attendants in the birthing room, the couple of stitches you get once holding your prescious newborn, the fact that you pooped while pushing. As long as all ends up fine, the small stuff will have been erased from memory, whether you're high on pain meds, or high on your own hormones. And YES, pain memories do fade, luckily!

#12 Bump in the Way! By the end of your pregnancy your bump will be in the way in all sorts of ways. You can't bend over to tie your laces. You can't see where to put the razor for a tidy up down there. Your bump will get stuck between doors, cupboards, sliding doors, passing between cars. You end up changing your top all the time, for the bump keeps leaning in puddles on the bench, and in full plates on the table. You'll invest in a tray to put your laptop on, once you get sick of pressing the wrong keys and having a bump trying to kick the laptop off your lap. Your spat out toothpaste will land on your bump. It takes a six point turn to actually roll over in bed. Your long, stretchy tops are starting to show part of your bump. Strangers will want to touch YOUR bump (Hate that!!)

So far my 5ct worth. I've probably forgotten a whole lot, might add some later :)

Some extra info:
All guilty pregnancy hormones lined up

Stages of Labor