And... we've done it!
Currently 19 weeks pregnant and we found out on Friday that it's going to be a GIRL!! She's doing great and everything looks fine and right on schedule.
For those who've been keeping track of my past blogs, you might remember we were trying to keep the gap between the moment we had 'fun between the sheets' and expected ovulation >3 days, so the slower - but longer lasting girl swimmers (X) would have a better chance to reach the egg than the faster, but not so long-lasting boy sperm (Y).
My cycle was far from ideal, with a Luteal Phase of much less than 10 days (supposedly 10 days is minimum for that's how long it takes for a fertilised egg to implant in the lining of the uterus properly) and a total cycle length of anywhere between 24 and 27 days, of which at least 6 days of bleeding (3 heavily).
I started using ovulation tests, but I still blame the breastfeeding (4x a day at that stage) for messing up my hormones and not showing the LH surge even once in the 4 months I tried using them. It made me wonder how high the Luteal Hormone level would have to be before it shows up on the tests, for even when I used 2 a day, I never got a true positive. A faint or slightly darker line was all I've ever got on those tests. Even the cycle I ended up pregnant, never showed a positive test!
Luckily I am 'fortunate' enough to be able to feel when I ovulate, especially if it was my left ovary releasing the egg. For I suffer from pretty bad after pains and tend to get pretty big cysts after ovulation, which can be really painful too. Actually if often feels like my whole lower abdomen hurts, I've even thought I might be suffering from appendicitis in the past, but a scan told me it was just a cyst on my ovary, right after releasing an egg. So even with the negative LH test strips, I could still tell when I had ovulated, more or less.
Our Lucky Cycle was also a crazy one. LH tests didn't get darker than faint, I didn't have very much egg white-like discharge (the fertile stuff!), we had sex 6 days (!) before I felt the ovulation cramping and my cervix wasn't very high up or soft&open around that time either.
8 days after the cramping my period broke through, very heavy bleeding (and I mean every 1.5 hrs bleeding through a heavy duty tampon-heavy!) for the first 3 days and then a lighter bleeding for another full 3 days. For the sake of knowing for sure I did try a pregnancy test the day my period was finished (day 27 of that cycle) and again another HCG test 4 days after that and both were very clearly white and negative.
For the sake of making absolutely sure I tried another test on day 15 (days post ovulation or DPO) which seemed like day 8 of my new cycle and YES we'd done it again! With my previous pregnancy the exact same thing had happened of me having a full blown period around the same time implantation should have occured, only then I found out when we had the first scan at 12 weeks that put me ahead by just over 2 weeks, random, crazy, but totally true!
And now it's happened again, only I tested in time to find out this time round and the first scan done at 11 weeks told me I had my dates spot on!
What are the odds???
Sooo we're talking extremely old sperm (6 days!)
Sooo we're talking negative ovulation tests
Sooo we're talking very short Luteal Phase (8 days!)
Sooo we're talking heavy period in the middle of implantation time
Sooo we're talking slow rise in HCG (positive first at 15 days after ovulation with a very faint line)
Sooo... what are the odds???
This must be a very very very strong and stubborn little girl to be hanging on like this!
And we're soooo over the moon to find out it is indeed a girl, after having 2 boys I kind of thought hubby wouldn't have any girl swimmers haha!
Very happy on my very pink cloud 9, may it be mid April real soon, can't wait to meet this little princess!!
Sunday, 23 November 2014
Friday, 18 April 2014
18 April 2014 Talk time
What's that with the time?
When needing to go to the toilet, only to find it occupied, two minutes seems like an eternity.
When waiting for the microwave to finish, 20 seconds seems to last forever.
When looking back at my youngest boy being 11 months old tomorrow, I wonder where I've lost all this time!
Time drags on, time flies, all at the same time!
Time is only relative. It totally depends on our mental state, on our feelings, on what keeps us occupied...
We're in the middle of creating a new family member. Whereas the weeks are flying by in the blink of an eye, once I started looking into my cycle again, noting down changes in cervix and discharge, time just started to pass ever so slowly... The wait between ovulation and the moment your menstruation is about to start: TEST TIME seems to never come!
And then it does and what's that in the test window? 1 line and 1 line only... but still no 'aunt visiting', no red flag, no sign whatsoever.
This uncertainty is mind-boggling!
Even though we've got 2 healthy boys to keep us entertained, the suspense in trying for an #3 (Team pink this time please!) is ever so noticeable...
Why can't things just be clear, black and white, yes or no, pregnant or menstruation!
Then there's some cervical mucus that would just about make me think my egg's about to pop - which it most likely did 2 weeks ago, so what's going on then?
As you see, just questions and no answers, nothing, zero, nada...
I'm at a loss, c'mon time, just hurry up and give us a sign! Better: give us an answer!
Pretty please?
When needing to go to the toilet, only to find it occupied, two minutes seems like an eternity.
When waiting for the microwave to finish, 20 seconds seems to last forever.
When looking back at my youngest boy being 11 months old tomorrow, I wonder where I've lost all this time!
Time drags on, time flies, all at the same time!
Time is only relative. It totally depends on our mental state, on our feelings, on what keeps us occupied...
We're in the middle of creating a new family member. Whereas the weeks are flying by in the blink of an eye, once I started looking into my cycle again, noting down changes in cervix and discharge, time just started to pass ever so slowly... The wait between ovulation and the moment your menstruation is about to start: TEST TIME seems to never come!
And then it does and what's that in the test window? 1 line and 1 line only... but still no 'aunt visiting', no red flag, no sign whatsoever.
This uncertainty is mind-boggling!
Even though we've got 2 healthy boys to keep us entertained, the suspense in trying for an #3 (Team pink this time please!) is ever so noticeable...
Why can't things just be clear, black and white, yes or no, pregnant or menstruation!
Then there's some cervical mucus that would just about make me think my egg's about to pop - which it most likely did 2 weeks ago, so what's going on then?
As you see, just questions and no answers, nothing, zero, nada...
I'm at a loss, c'mon time, just hurry up and give us a sign! Better: give us an answer!
Pretty please?
Thursday, 10 April 2014
10 April 2014 - Any mental health issues?
During the very first meeting with my midwife, I was asked this question.
"NO, nothing..."
Well, my kids made me realise recently, the answer to this question should have been "yes".
For I suffer from Trichotillomania...
Well, to call it SUFFER is quite an overstatement if there is such a thing.
Fact remains, it's a silly bad habit I've been having for the last 20 odd years!
What is it?
Mainly it's pulling hairs. This could be any sort of hair, on any part of the body. Often it goes together with skin picking, another tick for me!
For a long time I've thought it just 'runs in the family', my mom being a habitual skin picker, whenever sunken in thought, there's a hand up near her face/hair/neck, scratching, picking etc...
Recently I read a post from a friend asking about this habit of her little girl plucking her eyebrow hair when dozing off to sleep. Also one of my own boys when upset, his hands are always like claws on his face or in his hair. He might be copying his mom, I thought!
For as long as I can remember, I've been stuffing piles of hair out of sight. Hairs under my desk, under the table, next to the couch. Thinking back I must have been only just in highschool when it started.
Right hand holding a pen, a book, a phone, left hand up and in my hair. My long hair used to curl slightly and winding hair around your finger is quite soothing when the book you're reading is really scary, or the essay you're writing asks for a lot of thinking: what next?
Not sure what exactly made me start pulling my hair, but it's always been on the same 2 spots, halfway up my head on the left side. Nicely covered by wearing my hair in a pony tail at all times. But even when I have it down occasionally, I can make sure it's covered well. Yes, there is a bald spot.
In the last 5 years the pulling changed a little, it's more like a hunt for greys now. For some reason there's a very satisfied feeling to plucking out 2 hairs at once, 1 white and 1 black. My hair isn't black, but the short hair that grows in the bald spot looks really dark or completely white.
2 years ago I started to learn how to crochet. That's right, keeping 2 hands occupied! Before I knew it, it had taken up enough time for the lower spot to re-grow to more than an inch of hair and when I gave up on crocheting during summer, I managed to leave the lower spot alone completely.
I haven't been to the hairdressers since I was a little girl. My mom used to be my hair dresser, needless to say when I started pulling my hair, my mom wasn't allowed to cut my hair anymore. Was I ashamed of my hair pulling? Yes, and I still am. Have I talked to anyone about this? No, definitely not. I reckon if I tried hard enough, I'd be able to stop the hair pulling all by myself. But like I wrote earlier, it's only recently occured to me it could be a mental health issue. Call it a nervous tick. Call it what you like. It's my secret. No-one knows about it. Except you. Until today.
And to think I'm not alone, according to the link below, there are millions like me, like us!
Trichotillomania link
"NO, nothing..."
Well, my kids made me realise recently, the answer to this question should have been "yes".
For I suffer from Trichotillomania...
Well, to call it SUFFER is quite an overstatement if there is such a thing.
Fact remains, it's a silly bad habit I've been having for the last 20 odd years!
What is it?
Mainly it's pulling hairs. This could be any sort of hair, on any part of the body. Often it goes together with skin picking, another tick for me!
For a long time I've thought it just 'runs in the family', my mom being a habitual skin picker, whenever sunken in thought, there's a hand up near her face/hair/neck, scratching, picking etc...
Recently I read a post from a friend asking about this habit of her little girl plucking her eyebrow hair when dozing off to sleep. Also one of my own boys when upset, his hands are always like claws on his face or in his hair. He might be copying his mom, I thought!
For as long as I can remember, I've been stuffing piles of hair out of sight. Hairs under my desk, under the table, next to the couch. Thinking back I must have been only just in highschool when it started.
Right hand holding a pen, a book, a phone, left hand up and in my hair. My long hair used to curl slightly and winding hair around your finger is quite soothing when the book you're reading is really scary, or the essay you're writing asks for a lot of thinking: what next?
Not sure what exactly made me start pulling my hair, but it's always been on the same 2 spots, halfway up my head on the left side. Nicely covered by wearing my hair in a pony tail at all times. But even when I have it down occasionally, I can make sure it's covered well. Yes, there is a bald spot.
In the last 5 years the pulling changed a little, it's more like a hunt for greys now. For some reason there's a very satisfied feeling to plucking out 2 hairs at once, 1 white and 1 black. My hair isn't black, but the short hair that grows in the bald spot looks really dark or completely white.
2 years ago I started to learn how to crochet. That's right, keeping 2 hands occupied! Before I knew it, it had taken up enough time for the lower spot to re-grow to more than an inch of hair and when I gave up on crocheting during summer, I managed to leave the lower spot alone completely.
I haven't been to the hairdressers since I was a little girl. My mom used to be my hair dresser, needless to say when I started pulling my hair, my mom wasn't allowed to cut my hair anymore. Was I ashamed of my hair pulling? Yes, and I still am. Have I talked to anyone about this? No, definitely not. I reckon if I tried hard enough, I'd be able to stop the hair pulling all by myself. But like I wrote earlier, it's only recently occured to me it could be a mental health issue. Call it a nervous tick. Call it what you like. It's my secret. No-one knows about it. Except you. Until today.
And to think I'm not alone, according to the link below, there are millions like me, like us!
Trichotillomania link
Saturday, 1 February 2014
2 Feb 2014 My turn: bucket list
Life is slowly going back to normal here in New Zealand, schools are opening again and after what was called 'summer school holidays' but what looked like winter part II, the sun is finally out and the temperatures are up. Poor kids.
Not mine, they're way too young to sit in a hot and sweaty class room, listening to an adult who's trying to teach them something, that's something that won't start for another 2.5 years.
I've been fighting with my hair lately, it's probably still the leftover pregnancy hormones finally leaving my body, but my hair has been terrible recently. It's naturally got a light curl in it, but after giving birth to 2 kids, it's now going grey for real. Also I've suffered some pretty severe hair loss after both boys were born - due to the hormones, and I've now got a lovely 'halo' of short and spiky hair surrounding my face.
When we were in Holland, visiting my parents last year, I cut off a substantial length of my hair, hoping it would improve the look and feel of it, but it didn't. And then I came across a link on facebook with fantastic make overs for people who could use a laugh http://www.utrend.tv/v/one-second/ and I felt sorry for dumping my hair in the bin. I should have sent it in to have human-hair wigs made out of it!
So I have decided that's what I'll do if I ever get sick of my long hair, I'll donate it for a good cause! Pantene is one of the brands offering just that: http://www.beautifullengths.com.au/ with instructions of how and when to cut it and where to send it.
I might as well start a bucket list of things to do and places to visit in my life time, some might call it a bucket list:
1 - donate my hair
2 - catch up with my bestie in Kenya
3 - walk the milford track
4 - buy my own piece of land and build a house
5 - renovate a campervan
6 - seriously consider surrogacy once my family is complete
7 - be a volunteer for a good cause
8 - skydive
9 - take a hobby class
10 - ???
Ah well, that's it for now, I'll be thinking of more things to put on my list, any suggestions?
Not mine, they're way too young to sit in a hot and sweaty class room, listening to an adult who's trying to teach them something, that's something that won't start for another 2.5 years.
I've been fighting with my hair lately, it's probably still the leftover pregnancy hormones finally leaving my body, but my hair has been terrible recently. It's naturally got a light curl in it, but after giving birth to 2 kids, it's now going grey for real. Also I've suffered some pretty severe hair loss after both boys were born - due to the hormones, and I've now got a lovely 'halo' of short and spiky hair surrounding my face.
When we were in Holland, visiting my parents last year, I cut off a substantial length of my hair, hoping it would improve the look and feel of it, but it didn't. And then I came across a link on facebook with fantastic make overs for people who could use a laugh http://www.utrend.tv/v/one-second/ and I felt sorry for dumping my hair in the bin. I should have sent it in to have human-hair wigs made out of it!
So I have decided that's what I'll do if I ever get sick of my long hair, I'll donate it for a good cause! Pantene is one of the brands offering just that: http://www.beautifullengths.com.au/ with instructions of how and when to cut it and where to send it.
I might as well start a bucket list of things to do and places to visit in my life time, some might call it a bucket list:
1 - donate my hair
2 - catch up with my bestie in Kenya
3 - walk the milford track
4 - buy my own piece of land and build a house
5 - renovate a campervan
6 - seriously consider surrogacy once my family is complete
7 - be a volunteer for a good cause
8 - skydive
9 - take a hobby class
10 - ???
Ah well, that's it for now, I'll be thinking of more things to put on my list, any suggestions?
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